Resolve Family Conflicts the Smart Way: Family Mediation in Ontario

Family Mediation in Toronto

  • You could save time and money – family mediation often does not require family court and takes less time.

  • With the family mediation process, you keep your family dynamics out of the family court system.

  • With family mediation services, you both keep the decision making responsibility, rather than some judge in the “family justice system”

  • You are personally involved in creating an agreement that has everyone’s best interests at heart

  • You approach your dispute positively, which helps reduce stress and the impact on your children

  • You negotiate directly with your spouse, helping to maintain a civil relationship between the pair of you, which will help make future parenting and other decisions easier

  • You can discuss and resolve sensitive family law issues in private, guided by your family mediator who is a neutral third party.

  • Your settlement agreement will be enforceable

  • You can bring a friend or family member along to mediation sessions to support you, as long as the other party agrees

If you are going through a family dispute or separation in Ontario, family mediation could be an effective solution to help resolve issues constructively and peacefully. Family mediation involves a neutral third party who assists with communication and negotiations between both parties in a dispute. This article will discuss family mediation in Ontario, how it works, its benefits, the challenges, and much more.

Family mediation is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to traditional court proceedings for resolving disputes between family members. While court proceedings can be long, expensive, and emotionally draining, mediation offers a more collaborative and efficient approach to resolving disputes.

Mediation can resolve various family disputes, including divorce, child arrangements, property division, and spousal support. It can also address issues related to elderly care, such as inheritance disputes and end-of-life care decisions.

One of the key benefits of family mediation is that it lets both parties have greater control over the outcome of their dispute. In court proceedings, a judge makes the final decision, which may not be satisfactory to either party. In mediation, both parties work together to find a solution for everyone.

Another benefit of mediation is that it can be less stressful and emotionally taxing than court proceedings. Mediation sessions, such as the mediator’s office or by videoconferencing, are typically held in a neutral location and are less formal than court proceedings. This can help to reduce tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere for both parties.

Note that mediation is not a one-size-fits-all solution. It may not be appropriate for all family disputes, particularly domestic violence or child abuse. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek legal intervention.

If you are considering family mediation, it’s essential to choose a mediator who is experienced and qualified in handling family disputes. For example, look for a credited mediator with a financial background who has received training in mediation techniques if your conflicts are financial or a social worker if your matters are child related. You may also want to consider a mediator with an experience in counselling or psychology, as this can help resolve emotional disputes.

Overall, family mediation can be a highly effective way to resolve disputes between family members. It offers a collaborative and efficient approach to resolving conflicts while giving both parties greater control over the outcome. If you are facing a family dispute, consider whether mediation may be a good choice.

Understanding the Benefits of Family Mediation in Ontario

Family mediation involves a neutral third party helping families resolve disputes and agree on issues related to separation, divorce, or other family matters. Here are some of the critical benefits of family mediation in Ontario:

  • Mediation gives the parties control over their separation. In a court supervised process, the judge has the power to make a final ruling. This ruling may not tally with the interests of the couple. Mediation allows the spouses to work things out in their own way. 

  • Family mediation can be much faster than litigation. It produces much quicker mutually agreed win-win results and can be done in a matter of hours or at most days. Litigation has been known to take years before coming to an end. 

  • With family mediation, the parties can come to a deeper resolution of their marital and separation issues. The court will not have time to entertain all issues, and will usually restrict itself to only the legal aspects. 

  • Mediation allows the spouses to focus on what would be best for their children. In a court supervised proceeding, this determination will be left to the judge. That may not turn out how you expect. 

  • Mediation also costs far less than what couples can expect to spend in a protracted legal battle. 

  • Unlike traditional court litigation, mediation is a collaborative process that encourages open communication and respectful dialogue. A trained mediator can create a safe and supportive environment where both parties can express their concerns and work towards a mutually beneficial solution.

  • By encouraging open communication and respectful dialogue, family mediation can help parties build better relationships with each other. This can be especially important when the parties must continue to co-parent or work together.

  • Court proceedings can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. Mediation is often much more affordable and efficient. Mediators typically charge an hourly rate, usually split between the parties involved.

  • Court cases can take months or even years to resolve, but mediation can often be completed in weeks or months. Additionally, mediation is a more flexible process that can be tailored to the specific needs and concerns of the parties involved.

  • In family mediation, the parties involved have more control over the process and outcome of the dispute. Unlike in court, where a judge makes the final decision, mediation lets the parties work together to find a solution that works for everyone.

  • Finally, family mediation is private and confidential. It is absolutely private, unlike litigation and nothing you discuss with the mediator can be used in court. So you can rest assured that if participating in mediation does not work for you, it would not have ruined your ability to approach the court. 

  • Mediation is a collaborative process that can help parties find common ground and work towards a mutually beneficial solution. By building better relationships and improving communication, parties may be better equipped to handle future disagreements constructively and respectfully.

    Overall, family mediation is a valuable tool for families in Ontario facing disputes related to separation, divorce, or other family matters. By providing a safe and respectful environment for negotiation, offering a cost-effective alternative to traditional litigation, and promoting peaceful collaboration and mutual respect, mediation can help parties find a solution that works for everyone involved.

How to Find a Family Mediator in Ontario

Family Mediation in Ontario and other Neutral Professionals

If you feel my Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method is not a good fit for you or my location is not convenient (and Virtual or Remote Location Mediation is not an option.) It is still vital that you mediate your separation and divorce.  You can find more information about dispute resolution processes at the following organizations:

Other Professionals working as Neutrals

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts

Exploring the Outcomes of Family Mediation in Ontario

Family mediation aims to resolve disputes between family members, especially those arising from separation or divorce. The process involves a neutral third party who helps the parties involved to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. Like any negotiation process, the outcomes of family mediation can be unpredictable. However, here are the expected outcomes that parties may see:

An agreement is reached, and both parties are satisfied with the outcome

When parties come to an agreement, it is a win-win situation for everyone involved. In this scenario, both parties have effectively communicated their needs and concerns, and the mediator has helped them reach an agreement that works for everyone. This outcome is usually the goal of family mediation.

Parties are closer to an agreement and require further mediation or negotiation

Family mediation is not always a one-time process. Sometimes, parties may need to come back for further mediation or negotiation to resolve the remaining issues. However, this outcome is not necessarily bad because it shows that parties will continue working towards a resolution.

Family Mediation illuminates Issues and Fosters Understanding

Even if parties do not come to a final agreement, the mediation process can still be beneficial. Mediation can help parties better understand each other’s needs and concerns. It can also help parties to clarify the issues at hand, which can be helpful if the matter eventually goes to court.

The parties decide the issues are too complex and require further legal intervention

Family mediation is not always successful. Sometimes, the issues are too complex, and parties may need further legal intervention. In this scenario, the mediator can provide parties with information about their legal options and may refer them to a lawyer who specializes in family law.

Family mediation is a voluntary process, and parties can end the process. However, family mediation can effectively resolve disputes if parties are committed to the process and will work towards a resolution.

Family mediation in Ontario can help parties to resolve conflicts and come to agreements regarding family-related issues, such as child custody, support, and property division. While mediation can be a helpful tool, it can also be a challenging experience for many parties involved. One common challenge that parties may encounter during family mediation is difficulty respecting each other’s points of view. This can be especially true when parties have differing opinions on parenting styles or financial matters.

Family mediation is a collaborative process; both parties must listen to each other’s perspectives to resolve. Another challenge that parties may face during family mediation is the emotional charge that can come with discussing sensitive topics. Mediation can bring up difficult memories or highlight contentious issues that parties may have avoided. It is important for parties to recognize and acknowledge their emotions during the process and to communicate them constructively with the mediator. Difficulty agreeing on certain parts of the proceedings is also a common challenge during family mediation. Parties may have different goals or priorities and struggle to find common ground on specific issues.

Mediators are trained to help parties identify their underlying interests and to help with discussions that can lead to mutually beneficial solutions. In addition to these challenges, parties may have questions about the mediation process. For example, they may wonder how long the process will take, what the mediator’s role is, or what happens if they cannot reach an agreement. It is important for parties to ask these questions and to seek clarification from the mediator as needed.

Family mediation can be a valuable tool for resolving conflicts and coming to agreements collaboratively and respectfully. While it can sometimes challenge parties committed to the process and willing to work together can often achieve positive outcomes.

Link to an article that may interest you
The Soft Landing Method Roadmap to Clarity and Certainly

What Family Mediation Sessions Won’t Do

Family mediators aren’t there to give you legal advice – for that, you will need to consult lawyers.

Your mediator will not force you and your former partner to come to an agreement. That is something that will have to happen between yourselves. Your mediator is just there to make it easier for you to come to an agreement by giving both parties an equal chance to express their opinions and offer their solutions.

Your mediator will not favour one side over another. Their role as a neutral third party is to remain impartial.

Your family mediator will not provide counselling or any therapy assessments during mediation, or for any clients for whom they are providing divorce mediation services.

What’s The Best Way To Approach My Family Mediation Sessions?

You should be well prepared for your Family Law Mediation so that you make the most of the time you have with your mediator. Be sure to learn the basic mediation rules in advance by doing some online research – you might want to check out this page here

Links to Mediation Ground Rules and Intentions Template

ground rulesBe sure to be polite and honest throughout your mediation session, even if you find it difficult to share the same space with your former spouse. Arguing with each other during mediation is not a constructive use of your time. You are there to come to an agreement. So it’s a good idea to write down ahead of your Family Law Mediation sessions what you want to get out of your meetings, so you’re able to clearly communicate your goals.

You should also consider what your spouse is likely to want out of the mediation sessions and be prepared to compromise or consider creative solutions to avoid potential sticking points and disagreements which could force you all to go to court.

If you vehemently disagree with something during mediation, speak up and state your case with clarity. Try not to get too emotional. Remain level-headed and have your own solutions ready to suggest if your partner’s proposals are not agreeable.

Do I Need To Take Anything To Family Mediation Sessions?

Yes, you should take the following documentation to your meeting:

  • A list of the main issues you want to discuss in mediation.
  • Any relevant legal documents, such as a separation agreement, parenting plan, or court order.
  • Financial documents, such as bank statements, tax returns, and investment portfolios.
  • Proof of income, such as recent pay stubs or employment contracts.
  • Information about any assets or debts that you own jointly or separately.
  • Any documents related to child support or spousal support, such as a child support guidelines worksheet.
  • A calendar or schedule of important dates, such as upcoming vacations or school events.
  • Notes or emails related to any recent communication or disputes between you and your ex-partner.
  • A list of potential solutions or compromises that you are willing to consider.
  • Any other relevant documents or information that you believe may be helpful in reaching a resolution.
  • The name and contact details of your lawyer (if relevant)
Family Mediation in Ontario

What does Family Mediation Costs

The cost of family mediation services can vary depending on several factors, such as the mediator’s fees, the number of sessions required, and the complexity of the issues being addressed. Generally, family mediation is less expensive than a court process and hiring a family lawyer. In addition, some mediation services offer reduced fees for individuals with lower incomes or experiencing financial hardship.

In Ontario, Canada, the cost of family mediation typically ranges from $150 to $500 per hour, although some family mediators may charge more or less than this amount. The total cost of mediation can vary depending on the number of sessions required, with most cases taking between 3-10 sessions to resolve. However, the exact number of sessions needed can depend on the complexity of the issues involved and the willingness of both parties to reach a resolution.

Some private health insurance plans may cover the cost of family mediation, so it is worth checking with your provider to see if you have coverage. Additionally, for low-income families, some community organizations and government agencies like Legal Aid may offer subsidized or free mediation services for families unable to afford the cost of private mediation.

Overall, family mediation is typically less expensive than going to court and can be a more effective and less adversarial way to resolve disputes related to separation or divorce.

Mediation Benefits in Separation and Divorce

Deciding to end a marriage is never an easy decision. It could be that you and your spouse have simply, but irrevocably being driven apart or that you now have irreconcilable differences about important issues. But no matter what your reason is, it can be the right decision to take.

Once the decision has been made to end a marriage though, what happens from there will depend on how the couple approaches the process. Divorce commonly involves several complex legal issues that can be daunting to resolve. This will often be further complicated by a cloud of emotional issues between the spouses. 

If the couple are not careful about the approach they decide on, divorce can become an expensive, bitter and protracted affair. The legal and emotional issues involved in the divorce will require cooperation, and a bit of compromise between spouses, both of which will be difficult in a court supervised process. 

Usually, couples that want a smooth, swift and fair process will need the services of a skilled family mediator. Compared to a court supervised process, the mediation benefits that a couple can enjoy will be crucial to having a civil and sustainable resolution. 

If you have come to the conclusion that divorce is inevitable in your marriage, a family mediator can help you reach a conflict-free and mutually beneficial separation. This will be even more so when children are involved. 

You’re likely to have several questions about mediation benefits and what the process looks like. This article will discuss answers to these questions, as well as why mediation will make more sense for your divorce, than a court supervised legal battle.

What does a family mediator do?

Family mediation can be a helpful process for individuals and families dealing with a wide range of family law issues, including decision-making responsibility, custody and access, property division, child support, and more. In family mediation, a neutral third party works with the parties to help them navigate the complexities of their situation and come to a mutually agreeable resolution.

Mediators are trained professionals skilled in conflict resolution, and they can help families work through the emotional and practical issues that arise when a relationship breaks down. Through the mediation process, families can work together to develop a parenting plan that addresses the needs of their children, including custody and access arrangements.

They can also work to ensure that financial disclosure is provided and property is divided fairly. Mediation can be a more cost-effective and less adversarial alternative to going to family court. It lets families work together to find solutions that work for each other.

Why mediation for separation?

Family mediation is often considered a softer alternative to marital dispute resolution, and with good reason. Recall that a divorce process is commonly the result of a big spat between a couple that once loved each other, and probably still do. 

There will be several issues underlying the divorce, apart from the parenting, financial and legal issues that the parties need to resolve. Due to this, the divorce process will almost always be one huge roller coaster of emotions. In many cases, the parties will be severely at odd ends with each other, but will be unable to clearly explain why. 

The adversarial, and often acrimonious, nature of a court supervised process will often do nothing but stoke the flames of the dispute. Although the court may come out with a pronouncement declaring either party the “winner”, the real issues between the parties rarely ever get resolved. 

Unfortunately, this will leave a lot of resentment that will simply fester and blow up sometime in the future. Usually over something as mundane as a late support check. This is quite simply no way to achieve a marital separation. 

Family mediation allows couples deal with the deep emotional and legal issues that are involved in divorce. It helps parties achieve a total resolution of disputes. Even more important, it will result in the protection of interests of your children in a civil process that will not shatter your kids.

If your interest is in achieving a marital separation that does not leave ashes in your mouth later, family mediation should be your first option.

The top benefits of mediation

The mediation benefits that couples can enjoy through a rational and peaceful process are numerous. Here are some of the top benefits:

Importance of mediation to a favourable outcome

Every part of the mediation process is designed to get at the root problems in your divorce and help you resolve them amicably. Even if you and your spouse have been very civil about the separation, mediation provides a way for you to reach well-informed and collaborative decisions. 

Family mediation does not try to keep you and your spouse together. That’s a job for family counselling. Mediation accepts that change happens and that time has come for you and your spouse. It helps the relationship between the parties move forward to the next stage of their lives in a positive way.

No matter how you see it, deciding to adopt a mediation process in your divorce will result in a favourable outcome. You have a much better chance of resolving disputes and having your interests fulfilled when you are in control of the process, instead of a judge that barely knows your family.

Link to an article that may interest you
The Soft Landing Method Roadmap to Clarity and Certainly

Understanding the Impact of Family Mediation in Ontario

The impact of family mediation in Ontario has been significant in recent years, with more families turning to this alternative dispute resolution method to resolve their conflicts.

One of the most significant benefits of family mediation is that it can help prevent court cases. Going to court can be a costly and time-consuming process, and it can also be emotionally draining for all parties involved.

In addition to being a faster and more cost-effective option, family mediation can also help preserve relationships among parties. Unlike court proceedings, which can be adversarial and often result in one party “winning” and the other “losing,” mediation is a collaborative process that encourages parties to work together to find a solution that works for everyone.

Another benefit of family mediation is that it provides more confidentiality regarding the family dispute. Court cases are typically a matter of public record so anyone can access the details. On the other hand, mediation is a private process, and the details of the agreement reached between parties are not made public.

Finally, family mediation offers a process for effective communication that helps address the family’s needs and interests. During mediation, the mediator allows parties to communicate effectively and express their needs and interests non-confrontationally. This can help parties understand each other’s perspectives and work towards a solution that meets everyone’s needs.

Family mediation is an effective and efficient alternative to court proceedings that can help parties resolve their disputes promptly and cost-effectively. It can also help preserve relationships among parties and provide more confidentiality regarding the family dispute. If you are facing a family dispute in Ontario, consider family mediation an excellent way to resolve your conflict.

How Mediation Benefits the Kids

You’re splitting up. That much you and your spouse know for sure. Beyond that, who knows? Friends and family are treading on egg shells, trying to be understanding. But many of the decisions you face, you’re going to have to face alone.

Amid all this, there’s a word that keeps coming up: mediation. You’re not looking forward to the emotional and financial cost of lawyers and courts, and you’ve heard that mediation benefits everyone – you and your kids. Sounds appealing, but does it really work? Is there evidence out there to say for sure that mediation will work out better than litigation in the long run?

There is.

Emery’s Mediation Study focused for 12 years on a high conflict group – young and low-income families who had filed for a contested custody hearing.

To assess if there was a difference between separations handled by the alternative dispute process of mediation and those handled by lawyers through the courts, a flip of a coin decided whether a family would go into mediation, or seek a settlement through court cases in the traditional adversarial system. So pure chance decided which family took which route.

And in the study, the mediation was short – averaging only 5 hours per family – usually, mediation lasts a bit longer. The sessions were problem-focused but sensitive to emotions – in particular grief.

The study's results

Of the families that went down the adversarial path, 75% ended up before a judge, whereas less than 20% who mediated ended up in court. Even when mediation failed, parents tended to settle out of court with the help of their lawyers. Interesting. Had the exposure to mediation sown seeds of compromise and understanding that was lacking in those who went straight to court?

Following the families for so long enabled the study to reveal what happened to these high-conflict families in the years following the parents’ separation. And the results are truly eye-opening.

Mediation Benefits - More Parent - Child Face-To-Face Contact

Just 5 hours of mediation caused the non-residential parent to see more of their children, even 12 years after the separation. That contrasts to the dramatic drop-off in contact you see after the typical American divorce:

  • 28% of non-residential parents who mediated saw their children weekly 12 years later
  • Only 9% of non-residential parents who litigated did likewise
  • The national average is 11%
Mediation Benefits Children

Mediation Benefits - More Parent - Child Telephone Contact

If those results of seeing children face-to-face were impressive, when it came to telephone contact between non-residential parents and their kids, there’s even better news:

  • 52% who mediated talked to their children weekly 12 years later
  • Whereas only 14% who litigated did so. (The national average is 18%).

Remember, the families in this study were randomly assigned by the toss of coin, either to mediate or litigate. So we can say with confidence that the 5 hours of mediation were the direct cause of the differences in these results.

Family Mediation in Toronto Ontario

Deciding to end a marriage is never an easy decision. It could be that you and your spouse have simply, but irrevocably being driven apart or that you now have irreconcilable differences about important issues. But no matter what your reason is, it can be the right decision to take.

Once the decision has been made to end a marriage though, what happens from there will depend on how the couple approaches the process. Divorce commonly involves several complex legal issues that can be daunting to resolve. This will often be further complicated by a cloud of emotional issues between the spouses. 

If the couple are not careful about the approach they decide on, divorce can become an expensive, bitter and protracted affair. The legal and emotional issues involved in the divorce will require cooperation, and a bit of compromise between spouses, both of which will be difficult in a court supervised process. 

Usually, couples that want a smooth, swift and fair process will need the services of a skilled family mediator. Compared to a court supervised process, the mediation benefits that a couple can enjoy will be crucial to having a civil and sustainable resolution. 

If you have come to the conclusion that divorce is inevitable in your marriage, a family mediator can help you reach a conflict-free and mutually beneficial separation. This will be even more so when children are involved. 

You’re likely to have several questions about mediation benefits and what the process looks like. This article will discuss answers to these questions, as well as why mediation will make more sense for your divorce, than a court supervised legal battle.

Mediation Benefits - Better Parent To Parent Appreciation

The study went even further by asking residential parents to grade the parenting skills of the non-residential parent. And residential parents who mediated gave their former spouses better grades in every area –

  • Discipline
  • Grooming
  • Religious and moral training
  • Errand running
  • Holiday celebrations
  • Involvement in significant events
  • School and church activities
  • Recreation
  • Vacations
  • Discussing problems with each other

Remember, those families who mediated had, on average, just 5 hours of mediation. These results show that mediation is way more effective at fostering better long-term relations between separating couples, which can only be good for the children. It’s certainly way less disruptive and damaging than the alternative – litigation.

Family Mediation in Toronto

Dr. Emery’s 12 Year longitudinal Mediation Study - Summary

Access the summary report on Emary’s year longitudinal mediation study Tap Here

Mediation Benefits - Study Conclusions

Mediation has the power to shape a more understanding future relationship between separating spouses, and a closer relationship with the children, by showing separating couples:

  • They both have a voice
  • The importance of taking a long-term view
  • The advantages of working together
  • How vital co-parenting and learning about their children’s needs is
  • To recognize their own grief and see how it can be the cause of anger

This point about anger is important. At the time of separation, the idea of calmly sitting down with your spouse and rationally discussing matters in a mediation session goes against the grain. The temptation often is to shout out ‘I never want to see you again!’ Anger is the natural reaction, because it’s how we humans cover-up our hurt, grief and pain.

Amid all this, mediation asks parents to do something different. To think not of themselves, but of their kids. Having to face and work with the person you’re splitting from can increase the emotional pain and hurt, but as this study shows, working together for the sake of your children is the right thing to do.

Because it works. Mediation benefits everyone.

About Dr. Robert Emery

Robert Emery, Ph.D., is a Professor of Psychology and Director of the Center for Children, Families, and the Law at the University of Virginia. He is also an associate faculty member in the Institute of Law, Psychiatry, and Public Policy, and was Director of Clinical Training from 1993-2002. He received his B.A. from Brown University in 1974 and his Ph.D. from the State University of New York at Stony Brook in 1982.

He has served or is serving on the editorial board of eleven professional journals, and he has been a member of the Social Sciences and Population grant review study section of the National Institutes of Health. Dr. Emery is the author of over 100 scientific publications and several books.

Primary Reference

Emery, R.E., Laumann-Billings, L., Waldron, M., Sbarra, D.A., and Dillon, P. (2001). Child custody mediation and litigation: Custody, contact, and co-parenting 12 years after initial dispute resolution. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 69, 323-332.

Conclusion

Why is it that when people are going through a separation or divorce, they first think, “I need a lawyer.” We’ve all heard horror stories or maybe even watched someone we know settle for less than they deserved. Good divorces don’t make the news. Too many people have such messy divorces they never heal from them. Yet people still hire lawyers every day. They can do that because they can’t get along with their soon-to-be ex. They need a lawyer, or they believe only a lawyer can help them get divorced. And before they know it, they’re caught up in a messy divorce wishing they had done things differently.
It’s time to stop relying on a system that often leaves people worse off than when they started. Disillusioned and broken, it took years to recover from financially and emotionally. And the worst part is that instead of protecting those who need it most, lawyers protect only those who can afford to pay and want to fight. Things will only change when people know the secret to a fair, affordable separation and divorce.

Separation and divorce can be emotionally challenging and financially complex. With my unique qualifications as both a Mediator and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), I can help you and your spouse navigate these turbulent waters with confidence. My Soft Landing Settlement Method ensures that all aspects of your divorce are addressed, enabling you to achieve a fair and amicable resolution that fosters a peaceful transition into your new lives.

By choosing family mediation in the Greater Toronto Area with me as your guide, you’ll benefit from a comprehensive approach that combines my extensive experience, skillset, and the Soft Landing Settlement Method. This process is designed to minimize conflict, promote understanding, and ultimately create a positive outcome for all parties involved. Let me help you turn this difficult chapter into a new beginning filled with hope and opportunity.

Don’t go through this challenging time alone. Take the first step towards a brighter future by scheduling a Get Acquainted Call with me today. During our call, we can discuss your specific circumstances and explore how my services can support you during this critical time. To learn more about family mediation in the Greater Toronto Area and the Soft Landing Settlement Method,

Ready to start your journey toward a peaceful resolution? Click the button below to schedule your Get Acquainted Call now.

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