Uncontested Divorce in Ontario

Will that be a “contested divorce” or “uncontested divorce”? A contested divorce means you and your spouse have a few issues to iron out, maybe around such things as ongoing parenting, child or spousal support, financial disclosure, property equalization or division, or how to deal with the matrimonial home.

If you are outcome-focused and it’s a cost-effective divorce you want, that depends on the dispute resolution process you choose to work out your differences.

Read on and I will layout your options.

Your marriage has broken, you are thinking of starting a divorce process, the decisions you make early in the divorce process and the route you take can make the difference of tens of thousands of dollars and months or even years of delay. Here I will explain your separation and divorce options and how you can cut your cost, ease your stress, save your time, safeguard your children, and preserve your retirement in separation and divorce. In other words, the difference between a Blue Ocean or Red Ocean Divorce.

Untainted by lawyers intent on muddying the waters and stirring up conflict, a Blue Ocean Divorce is so-called because it takes a purer, more calm approach to divorce. It is a separation in which compromise, healing and understanding are of primary importance, and where many of the costs, injustices, dramas and trauma of divorce are swept away on the ocean current.

The goal is always to keep fights and conflicts out of the equation, so the process is less confrontational and stressful, and leads to a more equitable distribution of assets and responsibilities. It’s a divorce that will help you get your financial situation in order to minimize legal and other fees, so you can move forward with your separation more easily. It’s a non-acrimonious, pro-collaborative process that will save you time and money and help you and your spouse enjoy a better relationship as you go your separate ways.

This type of divorce focuses on letting you and your spouse work out the nature of your separation with expert guidance from a neutral third party. That means if you have children affected, you can develop solutions that are in their best interests. You can avoid future conflicts by reaching agreements together, and you can do it all without the huge legal fees and hassles associated with a Red Ocean Divorce. All a Blue Ocean Divorce requires is for you and your spouse to be prepared to sit down and discuss matters and work things out between yourselves in the presence of a mediator who can help guide you to a mutually agreeable solution.

Many courts allow, and some actually insist that couples attend mediation to amicably solve their divorce disagreements. This requires both spouses to attend a meeting with a mediator who will help them talk through their issues and come to an agreement. These mediators are highly trained in handling potentially high conflict situations. They remain neutral throughout, siding with neither party, but helping ensure mediation sessions remain productive, respectful and focused on resolving areas of disagreement.

Because the aggressive, win at all costs adversarial family law tactics that are used by lawyers during these divorces usually result in bloodbaths. Relationships get ruined. Bank accounts get massive chunks ripped out of them by greedy lawyers. People’s emotions take a battering.

To sum it up, it’s a toxic tide of dirty tricks that’s designed to create conflict, fear, and fees for lawyers. The first area of bad behaviour involves a lack of co-operation between both sides. Each spouse’s lawyer will take a passive-aggressive stance and employ underhand tactics in an effort to try and score points over the other and gain a perceived advantage.

And each lawyer will be taking chunks out of your family finances. You can expect your lawyer to charge $350 an hour and ask for a $10,000 retainer (which you’ll need to top-up when they say it’s run out). You can also expect to be charged 15 minutes of billable time for your lawyer to read a short email that would take the rest of us a couple of minutes.

In short, it’s a shipwreck for the separating. A race to the bottom of an ocean that will leave you drowning in debt and at the mercy of a series of ‘experts’, who will all be charging you fees of their own, and may even be required to give evidence and testimonies. These people include people with jobs you’ve most probably never heard of:

• Business Evaluators
• Custody And Access Assessors
• Children’s Lawyers
• Pensions Evaluators
• Public Accountants
• Investigators
• Career And Vocation Evaluators