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Learning from Failures: Guide to a Successful Parenting Plan?

Parenting plan checklist

You know, I pride myself on the fact that I failed during my divorce. I failed to pick the right lawyer. I failed to understand what was happening in the process. I failed to know what details to look for in my parenting plan. I failed to start co-parenting in the right way with boundaries. I failed all over the place. And it wasn’t my ex-wife’s fault; it was my fault. Now, I am one that likes to take my failure and make it mean something. And so, by doing so, it’s my job to take all those failures, find the solutions, and then share them with you so that you don’t make those same mistakes.

Parenting plan checklist

In developing a robust parenting plan, it’s essential to consider your child’s best interests, focusing on their physical and emotional well-being. A well-thought-out parenting plan serves as a guide to make important decisions about your child’s health, education, and care. When creating a parenting plan, it’s beneficial to use a parenting plan checklist to ensure all necessary aspects are covered, including shared parenting time and joint decision-making responsibility.

Embracing Mediation

To avoid the lengthy and often stressful court process, consider the dispute resolution process, which includes methods like collaborative family law and other forms of alternative dispute resolution. These approaches promote a cooperative environment to resolve conflicts, significantly benefiting all parties involved, especially the children.

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Reflections on Blind Trust in Professional Credentials

I don’t know about you, but for me, I blindly trusted my lawyers, and I say lawyers because over the three years, I had three. I blindly trusted that because they were professionals and had all these letters after their name, they knew what was best.

However, as I’ve learned in my 64 years, not everyone with numbers and letters behind their name knows everything about everything. Just because they have a certificate or a degree doesn’t necessarily mean they are equipped to know what’s best for me and my family. This perspective applies to doctors, dentists, therapists, and lawyers—being certified doesn’t automatically imply they know the best course of action for my situation.

Evaluating the Parenting Plan

When I finally received my parenting plan, I was just relieved about being divorced. The attorney handed it to me, saying, “Here’s what you got.” I responded, “Okay, that sounds great,” because I had nothing to compare it to. I trusted the letters after her name and her assurance that it was a good plan. In reality, it was inadequate—four pages of inadequacy.

Challenging the Flexibility of Parenting Plans in Family Law

Here’s another misleading assurance often given by family lawyer: “Don’t worry, you can just come back and modify that later.” But consider the practicality: if I’m already financially strained now, how will I afford to revisit the process? Will I somehow discover not only the funds but also the patience to start over, pay a new retainer, and complete all the paperwork again? It feels like undergoing a divorce twice. Why not instead create parenting plans that consider the future from the start?

The Problem with Short-Term Parenting Plans

Speaker 1 expresses frustration about the typical approach to developing parenting plans. “You mean when I build a parenting plan for a three-year-old, you want me to come back when they start school at five, and then again when they start junior high? I’m so sick of this short-sighted approach. Kids are not that complicated. But if it’s about money, I can see why attorneys might prefer it.”

This sentiment underscores the need for a more thoughtful, future-oriented approach to creating parenting plans. Such plans should account for a child’s evolving needs and the dynamic nature of family life, aiming to avoid repeated legal interventions.

Advocating for Comprehensive, Long-Term Parenting Plans

The family law system often operates on a short-term basis, which can lead to repeated court visits and legal fees. A more effective approach would involve using a parenting plan tool that includes a comprehensive checklist and templates that anticipate future changes in the child’s life. These tools should integrate shared parenting time and joint decision-making responsibilities, focusing on the child’s best interests.

Implementing Better Strategies in Family Law

To avoid the pitfalls of continuous legal adjustments, we should advocate for parenting plans that are designed with the long term in mind, taking into account the child’s physical and emotional development, education, and overall care.

This approach not only aligns with the principles outlined in the Ontario Family Law Act and the Divorce Act but also supports alternative dispute resolution processes, which can minimize the emotional and financial strain on families.

By adopting collaborative family law practices and incorporating thorough, well-considered parenting plans, families can achieve more stable and satisfactory arrangements that endure over time, reducing the need for frequent legal modifications.

Refining the Four Pillars of Co-Parenting Arrangements

Let’s discuss the four pillars of co-parenting arrangements: Education, Extracurricular, Medical, and Religion. Many provinces have shifted towards a model of 50% joint decision-making responsibility for these four pillars.

My name is Ken Maynard, and I assist people in creating detailed parenting plans. I believe simply settling for these four pillars can lead to future disputes. In my view, these four pillars are potential arguments waiting to happen, future court dates in the making, and essentially, money wasted.

Beyond Basic Joint Decision-Making

I think your time and effort would be better spent by adding subcategories under each of the four pillars and then reevaluating whether these should still fall under joint decision-making or if certain responsibilities could be allocated to one parent—either mom or dad. Instead of mandating that everything is joint, we should allow one parent to have the final say.

This approach can be crucial especially when disagreements arise. As we know from experience in divorce, it’s unlikely that both parties will agree on everything. Therefore, the idea of having documents that mandate 50% joint decision-making across all aspects is impractical and often unrealistic.

How do you deal with a toxic co-parent?

I often ask my new clients who are working on their parenting plans this: “How quickly did the wheels on the get-along co-parenting bus fall off for you? Was it before the ink was dry? Before the judgment was issued?

Was it a couple of weeks, or perhaps after a good year? Or did things change when someone started dating someone else? Let me know. Message me and let me know.

When did the co-parenting wheels fall off the bus for you? And how many wheels fell off? All four, and you were done? Or are you just missing a few on one side, trying to hobble through?”

I’ll go first. All four wheels fell off the second I said, “I want a divorce.” Done.

Understanding the Breakdown

Navigating the aftermath of a separation can be challenging, particularly when it comes to maintaining a healthy co-parenting arrangement. When creating a parenting plan, it’s vital to incorporate components that safeguard the child’s best interests, focusing on their physical and emotional well-being.

What is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan might sound like a nicer term for a child custody agreement, but they include more information and offer more flexibility than a traditional parenting schedule.

Negotiated between the parents, these plans address many aspects of co-parenting. You and your co-parent can incorporate as much or as little information into a parenting plan as you want to, and you can agree to change your plan if you find it’s no longer working for your family’s needs.

The nice thing about a parenting plan is that you have complete control. You’re not stuck signing a document you don’t agree with or waiting for a family law judge to render a decision.

Some families only address decision-making aka custody and parenting schedules in their parenting provisions, while others go into much more detail. If you have conflicts around your parenting then mediation and arbitration are some great out court dispute resolution options.

More about these options later.

  • Parenting Plan aka Custody agreement, aka Parenting Provisions, aka Child Arrangements

  • March 2021 Reformed Divorce Act – removed words: Custody, Visitation and Access.

  • A Parenting Plan has more flexibility than a traditional parenting schedule.

  • If you have conflicts around your parenting then mediation and arbitration are some great out-of-court options.

  • With a parenting plan you have complete control, not stuck with a Judge’s decision.

  • Critical to know how divorce impacts children and what you can do to minimize the sting.

  • Children who have two involved parents fare better than other children.

  • Your job as a parent should be to shield your child from this pain as much as possible.

Top 10 Parenting Plan Checklist Items

Here are the key sections typically included in a parenting plan. Prepare yourself with a parenting plan checklist to ensure all aspects are covered comprehensively.

1 – Parental Responsibilities and Decision-Making

This section defines how essential decisions regarding the child’s welfare, health, education, and religious upbringing will be made. It specifies whether parents will share joint decision-making responsibility or if one parent will have sole decision-making authority. This fosters a de facto decision-making environment that supports the child’s best interests.

2 – Living Arrangements and Shared Parenting Time

Details where the children will live and the schedule for parenting time, previously known as custody and visitation. It includes regular daily and weekend schedules, holiday rotations, and vacation times, ensuring a stable living arrangement that reflects the best parenting practices.

3 – Communication

Outlines the methods and frequency of communication between the children and each parent. This might include guidelines for telephone calls, video chats, and other forms of digital communication, facilitating ongoing contact and support.

4 – Transportation and Exchange

This section specifies the logistics of how and where the children will be transferred between parents. It includes who is responsible for transportation, locations for exchanges, and how to handle any associated costs, streamlining the process to reduce conflict.

5 – Healthcare

This section covers how healthcare decisions are made and paid for, including the choice of healthcare providers, emergency care procedures, and health insurance arrangements. It is crucial for maintaining the child’s physical and emotional health.

6 – Education and Extracurricular Activities

This section details decisions about the children’s education, including the choice of schools, participation in special education programs, and involvement in extracurricular activities. It may also outline how educational costs will be handled, integrating care, education, and religious instruction.

7 – Child Support

While not always included in the parenting plan itself, the financial support for the children may be mentioned, detailing the amount, frequency, and method of payment.

8 – Dispute Resolution Process

Specifies how parents will resolve disagreements concerning the parenting plan. This can include stipulations to use alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation, counselling, or other forms of dispute resolution before resorting to legal intervention.

9 – Changes to the Plan

Guidelines for reviewing and modifying the plan as the children grow and circumstances change, ensuring that the plan serves the children’s evolving needs.

10 – Special Considerations

Any specific needs of the children or unique family circumstances (like travel restrictions, religious observances, or special health care needs) require particular attention.

These child arrangements sections are designed to create a comprehensive framework that supports the children’s best interests and provides clear guidelines to prevent conflicts.

Supporting Your Child’s Relationship With Your Ex

Your child came from both you and your ex. This means that when you criticize your ex in front of your child, you’re criticizing your child. When you alienate your ex, you tell your child that half of him is unacceptable. While it might not be possible to be best friends with your ex, getting along is key, and you should never criticize your ex in front of your child.

How do you set co parenting boundaries?

No matter how angry you are at your ex—no matter what he or she has done to you—your child still needs both parents. Numerous studies have documented that children who have two involved parents fare better than other children on a broad variety of measures such as academic performance and psychological well-being.

Even more interesting, one study found that parents who have shared parenting arrangements are happier, more emotionally balanced, and report more satisfaction with their parenting plans five years after their divorce. Don’t sacrifice the long-term well-being of your children in favour of the short-term attraction of hurting your spouse.

When you’re developing a parenting plan, keep the following points in mind:

  • Each of you has something valuable to offer your child.
  • Each of you needs and deserves time with the child.
  • Disagreements do not mean either of you is a bad parent.
  • Work to constructively resolve disagreements with practical solutions rather than escalating a dispute.
  • Ask your ex-spouse what he or she needs, and express your needs clearly in language that is neither confrontational nor blaming.

It might be hard, particularly in the heat of a divorce, but one of the best gifts you can give your child is to support his or her relationship with your ex. Always talk about your ex in positive terms when your child is at your house. For example, ask your child, “Did you have fun with Daddy? Are you and Daddy reading any good books?”

Maintain open communication, and allow your child to call and e-mail your ex freely. Your child should never feel as though his or her relationship with your ex is hurtful to you.

Strategies for Supporting Parental Relationships

  • Offering strategies for dealing with conflicts without blaming your ex. If your child has a problem with your ex, treat this problem the same way you would have when you were still married!
  • Speaking positively about your ex.
  • Sharing some events together if you can.
  • Attempting to have a good relationship with your ex’s significant other.
  • Keeping in touch with your ex so you know of any issues that arise while your child is at your ex’s home.

When parents get divorced, questions often arise about the division of the child’s possessions, such as a PlayStation, Xbox, cell phone, or iPad. Here’s a general guideline on how such situations are usually handled:

Ownership of the Child’s Property

In most provinces, the law allows children to own property that was gifted to them. For example, if your child received a PlayStation as a Christmas gift, that PlayStation legally belongs to the child. This principle typically applies across various types of personal items that are gifted directly to the children.

Control Over the Property

Although the child may own these items, parents still maintain control over them. This means that as a parent, you have the authority to manage how and when your child uses these items. For instance, you might decide to take away your child’s cell phone or PlayStation as a form of discipline.

Handling During Custody and Visitation

The more complex issue arises when it comes to where these items reside when parents have separate custody and visitation rights. If one parent has custody and the other has visitation rights, questions might come up about whether the child can bring their PlayStation or iPad with them during visitation periods.

Typically, courts do not dictate the arrangements regarding the child’s personal possessions in these scenarios. Instead, it is up to the parents and the child to decide whether the child will transport personal items like gaming consoles or tablets back and forth between homes during visitation periods.

Overall, while the child retains ownership of gifts such as electronics, parents hold the responsibility to supervise the use and management of these possessions. Decisions about these items during visitation are generally not governed by court but should be mutually agreed upon by both parents, considering what is best for the child.

Dealing with your ex-partner moving on quickly

You may be going through a tough time dealing with your ex-partner moving on quickly and introducing new people into your children’s lives. This situation is understandably challenging and can stir up many emotions.

Focusing on What You Can Control

It’s crucial to recognize that after a divorce, you no longer have control over your ex’s choices, including who they bring into your children’s lives. The realization that you can’t control everything can be difficult but is an important step in adapting to your new circumstances.

Supporting Your Children

What you can manage is how you support your children during this transition. By being there for them at your home, you can provide stability and a sense of safety. Teaching them about their love languages, helping them develop coping skills, and encouraging them to communicate their needs are all proactive steps you can take.

Emphasizing Communication and Emotional Support

Focus on building a strong support system for your children within your home. Help them express their feelings and assure them that it’s okay to have mixed emotions about the new changes in their lives. By fostering open communication, you help them understand and articulate their experiences and feelings.

Acceptance and Moving Forward

While it’s tough to accept that you can’t change certain aspects of your ex’s life, focusing on your role as a supportive parent is crucial. Concentrate on creating a positive environment for your children, where they feel loved and heard. This approach can make a significant difference in how they cope with the changes.

In navigating these challenges, it may also be beneficial to seek support from professionals or support groups, where you can share your experiences and gain insights from others in similar situations.

How a Parenting Plan Benefits Parents

You might be tempted to duke it out in court with your ex for months or even years, but a parenting plan is a much wiser strategy that protects everyone’s well-being. Indeed, a parenting plan may be the best gift you can give yourself.

Parenting Plan Benefits

Decreased Conflict

A parenting plan, almost by definition, decreases conflict. Rather than being told by the court what to do, you and your spouse will come to an agreement, often with the help of a mediator. You won’t feel like you’re giving up time with your child or being forced into a schedule you hate. And because a parenting plan allows you and your spouse to address whatever issues you want, you may end up fighting less. If religion, school, or discipline have always been contentious issues, you can address these in your parenting plan and stop fighting about them. Once the court approves your parenting plan, it will become a legally enforceable document, which means that if someone breaks the rules, you won’t be left without options.

More Control

Old-style custody arrangements address visitation and not much else. But a parenting plan allows you to address whatever issues you want and gives you the opportunity to be creative with your “child arrangements. Perhaps child exchanges during the week or weekend, don’t work well for your family. A parenting plan lets you pick a schedule that works for everyone, rather than having a schedule everyone hates imposed upon you by a judge.

Saving Money

“Custody Battles” are extremely expensive, costing you thousands of dollars. Paying a mediator to help you develop a plan is much cheaper. Even better, studies show that parents are more likely to actually follow a parenting plan. This means it’s much less likely you’ll end up in court because the odds of one parent violating the parenting plan are decreased when you work together.

Planning and Certainty

A parenting plan gives you peace of mind. You don’t have to worry if Christmas is going to cause a fight or if you and your ex are going to continue to disagree over discipline tactics. When everything is outlined in painstaking detail, you’ll know exactly what to expect. This makes it easier to plan your time with your child and makes the future seem inviting and hopeful rather than terrifying and uncertain. As one divorced mother said, “I used to cry daily, wondering if I’d be able to spend holidays with my children or if we’d ever resolve our custody dispute. The parenting plan gave us the freedom to control our own lives and has given all of us more certainty.”

How a Parenting Plan Benefits Children

When you make financial, “custody” and other divorce decisions, the well-being of your children should be the first thing on your mind. More than half of children whose parents get embroiled in “custody” battles develop depression, but a parenting plan can save them from this misery. Your child can rest easy, with complete security that she’ll have substantive time with both parents.

Parenting Plan Benefits

Less Stress

More than anything, children crave security and consistency. A parenting plan gives them both. Your child will always know with which parent she will be, and can plan birthdays, outings, visits with friends, and projects accordingly. She also won’t be stuck wondering when she’ll see her other parent next or if her parents will ever resolve their conflicts.

Improved Well-Being

Children whose parents develop parenting plans and who spend time with each parent have numerous benefits, including the following:

  • Better academic performance
  • Higher satisfaction with their parents’ child arrangements
  • Fewer behavioural problems
  • Better mental health, including a lower rate of depression
  • Lower risk of risky behaviour such as sex, drug use, and alcohol consumption
  • Stronger relationships with friends
  • A more positive view of marriage and romantic relationships

Stronger Relationships

Perhaps the most important benefit of a parenting plan is that it improves your child’s relationship with both of her parents. He’ll have guaranteed time with each of the people he loves most, and the open communication fostered by a parenting plan helps your child know that he’s not betraying you by loving his other parent.

But relationships don’t begin and end with parents. Your child may have grandparents, half siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, godparents, and friends that he only sees when he is with one parent. Your parenting plan keeps these relationships, which are often vital for helping kids get through the stress of divorce, strong and intact.

The Boy Crisis: A Sobering look at the State of our Boys
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Warren Farrell Ph.D. | TEDxMarin

The Boy Crisis: A Sobering look at the State of our Boys

Common Parenting Plan Questions:

Where can I find resources for creating a parenting plan in Ontario?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:45:54-04:00

Ontario parenting plan resources are available through government websites, legal services, and family law professionals

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan in Ontario is made easier with several accessible resources. The Ministry of the Attorney General offers free online guides and templates, while the Ontario Court of Justice provides detailed worksheets for custody and access arrangements.

  • Access free parenting plan templates through Ontario’s family court websites
  • Consult with family law information centres (FLICs) at local courthouses
  • Use online tools from the Department of Justice Canada
  • Work with family mediators or lawyers for personalized guidance
  • Join parenting after separation workshops in your community

For additional support, consider connecting with Legal Aid Ontario or your local family law clinic, which can provide free or low-cost assistance in developing your parenting plan.

What are the key components of a parenting agreement template?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:45:24-04:00

A parenting agreement template includes essential elements for child custody, care arrangements, and co-parenting guidelines.

A comprehensive parenting agreement outlines how separated or divorced parents will manage their shared responsibilities for raising children. The document should contain legally binding terms that clearly define each parent’s rights and obligations.

  • Decision-making authority – Specifies who makes choices about education, healthcare, religion, and other major life decisions
  • Parenting schedule – Details regular visitation times, holiday arrangements, and special occasions
  • Child care provisions – Outlines daily routines, medical care, extracurricular activities, and emergency protocols
  • Communication guidelines – Establishes how parents will share information and coordinate child-related matters
  • Financial responsibilities – Addresses cost-sharing for education, healthcare, activities, and basic needs
  • Dispute resolution process – Defines steps for resolving disagreements and making future amendments
Is a parenting plan legally binding in Canada?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:44:52-04:00

A parenting plan becomes legally binding when incorporated into a court order or separation agreement

In Canada, a parenting plan can have full legal force when properly formalized through the legal system. To ensure enforceability, the plan must be either incorporated into a court order or included within a formal separation agreement.

  • Must be properly documented and signed by both parties
  • Should address key aspects like decision-making responsibilities and parenting time
  • Can be modified through court approval if circumstances change
  • Requires legal oversight to ensure compliance with provincial and federal laws

Working with a family law professional is highly recommended to create an enforceable parenting plan that protects both the parents’ rights and the children’s best interests.

How can a parenting plan benefit my children during separation?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:44:12-04:00

A well-structured parenting plan provides stability and security for children during separation

A comprehensive parenting plan creates a stable, predictable environment that helps children adjust to life after separation. By establishing clear guidelines and expectations, children experience less anxiety and uncertainty during this challenging transition.

A properly documented parenting plan offers several key benefits:

  • Minimizes exposure to parental conflict by establishing clear communication protocols and decision-making processes
  • Creates consistent routines across both households for bedtime, homework, and activities
  • Ensures both parents remain actively involved in important decisions about education, healthcare, and emotional support
  • Provides children with a sense of security by maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents
  • Helps parents focus on their children’s needs rather than interpersonal conflicts

When parents commit to following a structured parenting plan, children are better equipped to maintain healthy relationships with both parents while adapting to their new family dynamics.

What are the steps to create an effective parenting plan?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:43:07-04:00

A comprehensive parenting plan requires careful planning, clear communication, and legal guidance

Creating an effective parenting plan is a crucial step in ensuring your child’s wellbeing after separation or divorce. A well-structured plan addresses both immediate needs and long-term arrangements while prioritizing the best interests of the child.

Follow these essential steps to develop your parenting plan:

  • Assess core components – Include schedules, decision-making responsibilities, and communication protocols
  • Collaborate with co-parent – Work together to establish mutual understanding and agreement on key issues
  • Document arrangements – Put all agreements in writing, including regular routines and special occasions
  • Seek professional review – Consult with a family lawyer or mediator to ensure the plan meets legal requirements
  • Maintain flexibility – Build in provisions for reviewing and modifying the plan as your child’s needs evolve

Remember to address practical matters like transportation, healthcare decisions, education choices, and methods for resolving future disagreements. A detailed, well-thought-out plan helps prevent conflicts and provides stability for everyone involved.

Why do I need a parenting plan in Ontario?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:42:38-04:00

A parenting plan provides a clear, legally-documented framework for co-parenting arrangements in Ontario

A well-structured parenting plan is essential for successful co-parenting in Ontario, helping both parents maintain consistency and reduce potential conflicts while prioritizing their child’s wellbeing.

A comprehensive parenting plan offers several key benefits:

  • Legal clarity regarding decision-making responsibilities, parenting time, and communication protocols
  • Consistent routines for children across both households, including schedules, activities, and rules
  • Dispute prevention by establishing clear guidelines for handling disagreements and changes
  • Child-focused arrangements that address education, healthcare, holidays, and special occasions
  • Documentation that can be referenced by both parents, legal professionals, and other caregivers when needed

Having this formal arrangement helps parents maintain a cooperative relationship while ensuring their children receive stable, nurturing care in both households.

What should be included in a parenting plan?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:41:57-04:00

A comprehensive parenting plan outlines childcare arrangements, schedules, and decision-making protocols

A well-structured parenting plan serves as a detailed roadmap for co-parenting success. This essential document should clearly outline how parents will work together to meet their children’s needs.

Key components that should be included:

  • Decision-making responsibilities for education, healthcare, and other major life choices
  • Detailed parenting time schedules including holidays, special occasions, and vacation arrangements
  • Communication protocols between parents and methods for sharing important information
  • Childcare arrangements including education, extracurricular activities, and religious instruction
  • Financial responsibilities for child-related expenses and support payments
  • Dispute resolution procedures and methods for handling schedule changes
  • Travel and relocation guidelines including passport arrangements and consent requirements

The plan should remain flexible enough to accommodate changes as children grow while providing clear structure for day-to-day parenting decisions.

Can you provide a sample parenting plan template for Canada?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:41:28-04:00

Comprehensive parenting plan templates are available through Canadian legal resources and family law professionals

A well-structured Canadian parenting plan outlines the essential arrangements for co-parenting after separation or divorce. The most effective plans address key parenting responsibilities and establish clear guidelines for both parties.

Standard parenting plan templates typically include:

  • Parenting time schedules – Regular routines, holidays, and special occasions
  • Decision-making responsibilities – Education, healthcare, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities
  • Communication protocols – Methods, frequency, and guidelines for parent-to-parent contact
  • Financial arrangements – Child-related expenses and cost-sharing agreements
  • Dispute resolution procedures – Steps for addressing disagreements and making modifications

You can obtain customizable templates through provincial family courts, legal aid organizations, or family law professionals such as mediators and divorce financial analysts.

How do I create a parenting plan template in Ontario?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:40:48-04:00

A comprehensive parenting plan in Ontario should address custody, schedules, and key decisions about your child’s wellbeing.

Creating an effective parenting plan requires careful consideration of all aspects of your child’s life. A well-structured plan helps establish clear expectations and reduces potential conflicts between co-parents.

Your Ontario parenting plan should include:

  • Decision-making responsibilities for education, healthcare, and religious upbringing
  • Detailed parenting time schedules including holidays, special occasions, and school breaks
  • Communication protocols between parents and with the children
  • Transportation arrangements for exchanges and activities
  • Financial responsibilities for childcare, education, and extracurricular activities
  • Dispute resolution methods for handling disagreements

Consider consulting with a family law professional or mediator to ensure your plan meets Ontario legal requirements and addresses all necessary aspects of co-parenting. Many Ontario courthouses offer free parenting plan templates and resources through their Family Law Information Centres.

What is a parenting plan and why is it important?Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-09-07T21:40:01-04:00

A parenting plan is a formal written agreement that establishes how separated parents will co-parent their children.

A comprehensive parenting plan serves as a roadmap for successful co-parenting after separation or divorce. This legally recognized document helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures both parents understand their roles and responsibilities in raising their children.

A well-structured parenting plan typically addresses:

  • Decision-making responsibilities for education, healthcare, and other important aspects of the children’s lives
  • Parenting time schedules, including regular routines, holidays, and special occasions
  • Communication methods between parents and with children
  • Conflict resolution procedures for handling disagreements
  • Financial arrangements for child-related expenses

Having a clear parenting plan promotes stability for children, reduces potential conflicts between parents, and ensures consistent care across both households. It also provides a framework that can be adjusted as family circumstances change over time.

Resolving Deeper Conflicts: Present and Future

Even parents with the best intentions occasionally can’t resolve a parenting issue. But it’s unfair to your children when you and your ex are perpetually fighting about the same thing. You have a few different options when one parent violates the agreement, when you can’t agree about what to put in the parenting plan, or when you want to change the plan but your ex doesn’t.

resolving deeper conflicts

Parenting Coordinator

A parenting coordinator should be your first stop when you can’t agree on something. These professionals are trained in mental health and can offer advice on how to protect your child’s well-being. You’ll need to agree to a particular parenting coordinator, and should consult with him or her at least once before there’s conflict—and put that specific parenting coordinator in your parenting plan with a parenting coordination agreement. Decide how much control you want to give the parenting coordinator, and put this in your parenting plan. Many parenting plans give parenting coordinators the power to make minor alterations regarding visitation, to refer parents or children for counselling, and to make changes to discipline strategies. Most parenting issues can be worked out with the assistance of a parenting coordinator.

Mediation

Mediation is key if you can’t decide on a parenting plan independently, and a good mediator can help you resolve things in a few hours. If you already have a plan in place and parenting coordination has failed, mediation is the next step. Mediators put a bit of pressure on both parties and encourage each parent to make decisions that protect the well-being of their children.

Legal Action

Legal action should be a last resort, because it can be costly, stressful, and extremely damaging to your child. Give mediation several weeks to work, and never skip mediation in favour of suing unless your child’s life or well-being is in immediate danger. And most importantly, never ignore a court order, including a parenting plan. Denying visitation, making false allegations of abuse, or attempting to undermine your child’s relationship with her other parent are dangerous strategies that will harm your child and can affect your legal standing.

New Ways for Families

New Ways for Families® is a structured parenting skills method intended to reduce the impact of conflict on the children in potentially high-conflict divorce and separation cases. It can be used whenever a parent or the court believes one parent needs restricted parenting time (supervised, no contact, limited time), at the start of a case or any time a parent requests it–including after the divorce.

This method emphasizes strengthening skills for positive future behaviour (new ways), rather than focusing on past negative behaviour – while still acknowledging it. It helps to protect children as their families re-organize in new ways after a separation or divorce, by teaching parents skills for long-term co-parenting. It can be used with married or never-married parents.

New Ways for Families should teach parents the skills to put their children first by improving their co-parenting skills and jointly making their parenting decisions out-of-court, which reduces the time the court must spend deciding for them. When parents make their own parenting decisions, they are more likely to follow the agreements.

This method can be used in family court (as a requirement prior to the court deciding), mediation, collaborative divorce, pre-mediation coaching, or even post-divorce assisted by a Parenting Coordinator or High Conflict Case Manager.

More about New Ways for Families®

Where to find a Neutral Professional

Mediators may also be members of one of the following organizations, each of which provides standards of professional conduct and complaints processes:

Other Professionals working as Neutrals

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts

Are you looking to actively shape the future you share with your children post-divorce? Do you want to ensure that you’re fully aware of all decisions and possibilities, making the best choices as you transition to being a single parent? It’s crucial to understand that this responsibility primarily rests on your shoulders. Relying solely on an attorney, despite their education and cost, may not suffice.

The Importance of Being Informed

Lawyers can provide valuable guidance, but ultimately, it is your job to understand all the options available to make informed decisions for yourself and your children. Remember, once the divorce is finalized and the ink dries on the paperwork, your attorney will step back, and you will live with the outcomes of the choices made.

Empowering Yourself Through Knowledge

Take the time to educate yourself and seek support from professionals who specialize in navigating divorce. My name is Kenneth Maynard, and I assist individuals going through divorce. I help them understand potential decisions and options and guide them on how to safeguard their future.

Seeking the Right Support

Find professionals who will help you not just during the legal process but also in preparing for life afterwards. Ensuring you have a comprehensive understanding of your rights and options can significantly impact your post-divorce life and your relationship with your children. Take control by getting informed and making choices that align with your long-term well-being and that of your children

11 Key Takeaways about Creating A Parenting Plan

  • Parenting Plan Flexibility: Offers more flexibility than traditional schedules.
  • Control: Allows parents to have control over decisions instead of a judge.
  • Decision-Making: Covers decisions about education, religion, and non-emergency medical care.
  • Schedules: Includes details about residential schedules, holidays, and special occasions.
  • First Right of Refusal: Guidelines for when a parent cannot care for the child.
  • Parenting Style: Addresses discipline, communication about sensitive issues, and introducing new partners.
  • Conflict Resolution: Provides methods to handle disagreements.
  • Supporting Relationships: Encourages support for the child’s relationship with both parents.
  • Travel: Defines rules for traveling with children.
  • Legal Enforcement: Becomes a legally enforceable document once filed in court.
  • Well-Being: Aims to minimize the impact of divorce on children and ensure their well-being.

Table of Contents

At DTSW

Information Model

We understand the emotional and practical challenges you face in creating a parenting plan. Our Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method is designed to help you develop a child-focused, comprehensive plan that addresses decision-making responsibility, parenting time schedules, and your child’s physical and emotional well-being. By using tools like the parenting plan checklist, you can ensure all aspects are covered effectively. We are here to support you every step of the way.

Take the first step towards a smoother transition. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call with us today.

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Step-by-Step Guide for Creating a Parenting Plan

1. Consulting Your Children When Making a Parenting Plan

Include your children in creating a parenting plan, especially if they are older. Understanding their preferences can help shape a strategy that minimizes stress. For example, if your child dislikes frequent moves, consider having them spend the school year with one parent and the summer with the other. Remember, while older children may have some say in where they live, you and your ex must collaborate on a plan that works for everyone. Address any conflicts calmly and work towards resolution, encouraging open communication.

2. Do-It-Yourself: Download and Review the AFCC-O Parenting Plan Guide

The AFCC-O Parenting Plan Guide is a practical and effective resource for parents, lawyers, mediators, and judges. It offers a comprehensive approach to developing child-focused, realistic parenting plans. Download and thoroughly review this guide to gain a clear understanding of the essentials required to create a plan that serves the best interests of your children.

3. Do-It-Yourself: Download and Review the AFCC-O Parenting Plan Template

The AFCC-O Parenting Plan Template is a practical tool for crafting your parenting plan. Download it and work through it as best you can. This template will help ensure you cover all necessary aspects of a parenting plan and provide a structured format for your agreement.

4. Use Mediation if You Encounter Disputes

When disagreements arise, mediation can be a beneficial and peaceful solution. Mediators can facilitate discussions and help resolve conflicts that may be challenging to navigate on your own. Mediation can bring up important considerations, such as holiday schedules and decisions about the child’s religion, which you might not have initially thought about. Both private and court-based mediators are available, with court mediators typically being more affordable but potentially offering fewer suggestions.

Following these steps, you can create a well-rounded, child-focused parenting plan that works for everyone involved.

External links that may interest you

About the Author:
Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM

I assist intelligent and successful couples in navigating the Divorce Industrial Complex by crafting rapid, custom separation agreements that pave the way for a smooth transition towards a secure future. This efficient process is achieved in about four meetings, effectively sidestepping the excessive conflicts, confusion, and costs commonly linked to legal proceedings. Clients have the flexibility to collaborate with me either via video conference or in-person through a DTSW associate at any of our six Greater Toronto mediation centers, located in Aurora, Barrie, North York, Vaughan, Mississauga, and Scarborough.

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Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM2025-06-26T11:04:42-04:00

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Ken S. Maynard
Ken S. MaynardCDFA, Acc.FM

Discover the Power of a Soft Landing

Join me Ken Maynard for a FREE Get Acquainted Call. We’ll explore the benefits of our approach, ensuring your privacy and confidentiality throughout. There’s no obligation to continue, but this crucial first step could unlock significant benefits.

We’re experts in avoiding costly mistakes and securing the best outcomes.

Contemplating separation or divorce? Call us first. Discover how our Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method can save you money and secure a brighter future.

Schedule your FREE Get Acquainted Call today. Step towards a peaceful, financially secure divorce with Divorce the Smartway.

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