Break Free from the Divorce Industrial Complex Trap

What is an industrial complex?

The industrial complex is a socioeconomic concept wherein businesses become entwined in social or political systems or institutions, creating or bolstering a profit economy from these systems. Such a complex is said to pursue its own financial interests regardless of, and often at the expense of, the best interests of society and individuals. Businesses within an industrial complex may have been created to advance a social or political goal, but mostly profit when the goal is not reached. The industrial complex may profit financially from maintaining socially detrimental or inefficient systems.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

What are the negative effects Divorce Industrial Complex:

Financial Burden:

  • High Costs: The services provided by the Divorce Industrial Complex can be expensive, creating financial burdens that often escalate into full-blown divorce nightmares for individuals and families.
  • Economic Strain: The cumulative costs of legal fees, court mediation services, therapy, and other services can lead to long-term financial strain for divorcing parties.

Emotional Toll:

  • Stress and Anxiety: Navigating the divorce process, with all its complexities, can lead to what feels like never-ending divorce nightmares, even with professional support..
  • Mental Health Impact: The emotional toll of navigating multiple professionals and services can exacerbate mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety.

Profit Motive:

  • Exploitation Risks: Divorce nightmares often arise when professionals within the Divorce Industrial Complex prioritize profits over clients’ well-being, pushing unnecessary services and extending the process.
  • Conflict of Interest: Financial incentives might lead to conflicts of interest, where the focus shifts from amicable resolution to maximizing billable hours or service fees.

Dependency on Services:

  • Over-Reliance: Individuals often find themselves navigating a complicated divorce due to over-reliance on the services provided by the Divorce Industrial Complex, limiting their ability to make independent decisions.
  • Disempowerment: The involvement of multiple professionals can sometimes disempower individuals, making them feel less in control of their own divorce process.

Inequality:

  • Access Disparities: Not all individuals can afford or access the full range of services within the Divorce Industrial Complex, leading to inequalities in the support and outcomes available to different socioeconomic groups.
    Bias and Discrimination: There may be biases or discriminatory practices within the industry that affect the quality and fairness of services provided to certain groups.

Prolonged Conflict:

  • Adversarial Nature: Some services, particularly within the legal domain, can foster an adversarial approach that prolongs conflict rather than promoting amicable resolutions.
  • Escalation of Disputes: The involvement of multiple professionals can sometimes escalate disputes as different parties provide conflicting advice or encourage more contentious strategies.

Community and Social Impact:

  • Stigma: The prominence of the Divorce Industrial Complex can contribute to social stigma around divorce, affecting individuals’ social standing and relationships within their communities.
  • Family Dynamics: The complex can sometimes disrupt family dynamics, particularly if children are involved and the process becomes contentious and drawn out.

Systemic Issues:

  • Overcomplexity: The Divorce Industrial Complex can make the process of divorce seem overly complex and daunting, discouraging individuals from seeking simpler, more direct resolutions.
  • Bureaucratic Hurdles: Navigating through various services and professionals can create bureaucratic hurdles, delaying the resolution process and increasing frustration.

Final Thoughts

The Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method is designed to help divorcing couples reach amicable and fair agreements without the high costs, extended timelines, and emotional stress often associated with traditional divorce proceedings. This method aims to create a more cooperative and supportive environment, focusing on mutually beneficial solutions and reducing the adversarial nature of divorce.

Key Features of the Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method:

Mediation Focused:

  • Neutral Mediator: A neutral mediator is key in avoiding a complicated divorce by helping spouses communicate effectively and reach agreements smoothly.

Collaborative Approach:

  • Team Effort: Instead of relying solely on lawyers, the method involves a team of professionals, including financial advisors, therapists, and child specialists, working together to support the couple.
  • Shared Goals: The focus is on goals and outcomes that benefit both parties rather than a win-lose scenario.

Cost-Effective:

  • Reduced Legal Fees: The method significantly reduces legal fees and associated costs by minimizing court appearances and battles.
  • Efficient Process: The structured approach streamlines the process, saving time and money.

Emotional Support:

  • Therapeutic Support: Access to counselling and therapy helps individuals cope with the emotional aspects of divorce, promoting mental well-being.
  • Focus on Healing: The method encourages emotional healing and provides tools for managing stress and anxiety.

Fair Financial Settlement:

  • Financial Transparency: Financial advisors help ensure transparency and fairness in asset division, spousal support, and child support arrangements.
  • Long-Term Planning: The method includes long-term financial planning to secure both parties’ futures post-divorce.

Benefits of Breaking Free from the Divorce Industrial Complex Trap:

Empowerment:

  • Control and Autonomy: Couples retain more control over their divorce process, making decisions that best suit their unique circumstances
  • Personalized Solutions: The method allows for more personalized and flexible solutions tailored to the couple’s needs.

Reduced Conflict:

  • Less Adversarial: This method reduces adversarial interactions and promotes a more peaceful resolution by focusing on collaboration and mutual respect.
  • Better Co-Parenting: Improved communication and cooperation can lead to better co-parenting arrangements, benefiting the children involved.

Economic Relief:

  • Lower Costs: The method’s emphasis on efficiency and reduced reliance on litigation leads to lower overall costs.
  • Financial Stability: Fair and transparent financial settlements are crucial in preventing a complicated divorce and ensuring both parties achieve a stable economic future.

Emotional Well-Being:

  • Supportive Environment: Access to emotional support and a less contentious process helps individuals manage stress and transition more smoothly.
  • Focus on Healing: The method prioritizes healing and moving forward, reducing long-term emotional scars.

Efficient Resolution:

  • Faster Settlements: Streamlined processes and cooperative approaches lead to quicker resolutions, allowing individuals to move on with their lives sooner.
  • Avoiding Court Delays: By minimizing court involvement, the method helps couples steer clear of the delays and uncertainties that often turn a simple case into a complicated divorce.

In summary, the Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method offers a compassionate, efficient, and cost-effective alternative to traditional divorce. It helps couples break free from the divorce industrial complex trap and promotes a more positive and empowering divorce experience, emphasizing collaboration, fairness, and emotional well-being.

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Divorce IndustryIn the current system, the biggest drivers of cost are legal fees and time. Imagine that you and your spouse are going to divorce and each of you heads to a lawyer’s office, pays a retainer and begins the process.

Once all the initial paperwork has been dealt with, the lawyer for the husband says, “To get us started, let’s begin with a few minor points that should be resolved easily.”

Following this meeting, the husband’s lawyer composes an e-mail that outlines his client’s position on these “minor points”; the e-mail includes a reference to a TV set.

The timing, process and rationale for hiring a lawyer

You might be thinking that, since my colleagues and I are in the mediation business, we are automatically opposed to the use of lawyers in a divorce action.

That’s just not true, since every divorce requires that lawyers become involved in the process at some point-in-time. However, when, how and why one retains legal counsel in a divorce action can greatly influence the final cost.  The timing, process and rationale for hiring a lawyer are all detailed on this website.

Most divorces are “uncontested” which means that they do not go to trial. However, “uncontested” does not mean that the divorcing parties negotiated the terms of their divorce without assistance – far from it.

Rarely do divorcing couples hammer out the terms of their divorce without any assistance whatsoever. Instead, they turn to others for assistance, traditionally, lawyers from day one, or, more recently, trained mediators.

When you think about it, the adversarial approach of two lawyers hammering out a deal on behalf of two warring litigants, it is easy to understand why this time-proven approach is often a divorcing couple’s first thought.

Similarly, where you have two people each angry with the other and, often, in a fragile emotional state, you might think that mediation just isn’t possible.

Landmark, 12-year research study, led by Dr. Robert Emery,

Yet, a landmark, 12-year research study, led by Dr. Robert Emery, shows that mediation wins over litigation on every measure studied.

The study, which used a high conflict group as its sample, randomly selected whether the divorcing couple would proceed using litigation or mediation (the latter, being relatively short-term, about 5 hours). The study followed these couples for 12 years and found, amongst other things, that

  • Divorce mediation kept most families out of court. Of those who litigated, 75% appeared before a judge (versus 20% for those who mediated),
  • Many more non-resident parents saw their children regularly 12 years later if their case was mediated (28%, vs. 9% for those who litigated),
  • Many more non-resident parents telephones their children regularly 12 years later if their case was mediated (52%, vs. 18% for those who litigated),

and, perhaps most important

Those who mediated scored better “grades” on every area of parenting that was studied, including discipline, grooming, religious and moral training, recreation, vacations, and the ability to discuss problems with their parents.

If you want to read more, just click here.

Estimated number of active divorce cases, 2013

Divorce Industry Canada Ontario Toronto (GTA)
New cases in 2013 76,908 29,610 8,883
Cases from previous year(s) 84,030 32,351 9,705
Total 160,938 61,691 18,588

Source: Estimates based on data from Statistics Canada

Is there a divorce industry?

Law Commission of Ontario reports on the divorce industry: If you are new to the separation and divorce process in this province, let me draw you a picture: Think of the last time you went to renew your passport…

Entering the office, you take a number from the dispenser by the door. Walking in, you see a many others, all clutching their numbers and papers,

all there for the same purpose. The line moves slowly and you begin to wonder. Hours later, when you are close to being served, a wicket closes – and you wonder why.

The family law system is similar. It is a dated process that needs upgrading, inefficient and expensive, yet it churns out court orders and divorce decrees every day.

The Law Commission of Ontario, an organization that operates independently of government recommends law reforms to enhance access to justice, published an in-depth report on the family law system in the province. Its first report was published in 2010. Even lawyers, who are the main beneficiaries of the “divorce industry”, participated in funding this important report.

Among other things, the report deplores the “divorce industry” as a system that:

• Can bankrupt the litigants ( a litigant is you if you engage in the family courts)
• Routinely ignores the wishes and interests of children
• Takes far too long for final resolution

The Final Report on the Family Law Project, published in February 2013, can be found here.

Divorce Industry - Insider Calls for Reform

The Law Commission of Ontario is not alone in its call for divorce industry reform. Former Ontario Chief Justice Warren Winkler says:

Family law is in a state of crisis. We see a system in disarray – one that is beyond tinkering and that needs to be built up using new concepts and fresh ideas. In short, we see a need for fundamental change.

The legal aspects of the “divorce industry” account for about $5 billion per year (more if you include common-law couples who are splitting up), but that’s just about half of the total expenditure. Divorce attracts a host of extra costs, many of which are significant. Consider:

  • Commissions paid to real estate agents in the selling and purchasing of homes,
  • Professional fees for therapists,
  • Cost of new furniture and/or appliances
  • Costs for moving and/or storage
  • Cost of a post-divorce trip to rest and begin the healing process

About 40% of all marriages end in divorce, and, the sheer number of divorce actions is, in all probability, a major reason that family law is in a state of crisis. Consider this chart:

About the Author:
Ken Maynard CDFA, Acc.FM

I assist intelligent and successful couples in navigating the Divorce Industrial Complex by crafting rapid, custom separation agreements that pave the way for a smooth transition towards a secure future. This efficient process is achieved in about four meetings, effectively sidestepping the excessive conflicts, confusion, and costs commonly linked to legal proceedings. Clients have the flexibility to collaborate with me either via video conference or in-person through a DTSW associate at any of our six Greater Toronto mediation centers, located in Aurora, Barrie, North York, Vaughan, Mississauga, and Scarborough.

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