How to propose Divorce Mediation
How We Can Help to Introduce Divorce Mediation
One approach to propose divorce mediation to your former spouse. Is to send an email with this Mediation Ground Rules and Intentions Template attached.
We find the Ground Rules and Intentions Template to be a very powerful document. Let me share with you why we believe so strongly in this.
You see, in separation and divorce, fear often hijacks our reasonable thought processes; this is known brain science.
You may have heard of the term ‘fight-or-flight response‘. This refers to a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to our survival. It is this fight-or-flight response that family lawyers capitalize on with their huge fees and their adversarial ways.
One positive action you can take in your separation is to make an effort to bring down the level of fear. Sharing the Ground Rules and Intentions template with your spouse is like you saying:
- I am not here to fight, destroy you, or take you for everything.
- I value you as a parent (if you have children).
- It is a clear statement that you want a fair and amicable separation.
In my own separation many years ago, before I became a mediator, I remember being instantly overwhelmed by fear and anxiety the moment I received a letter from my wife’s lawyer. From that point forward, my reasonableness was hijacked. Her lawyer knew just how to fuel my fear and anxiety with regular emails, letters and court documents.
Sadly this set off a series of events that led to 3 years of lawyers and family court. I do not want that for you, or your family. That is why I became a divorce mediator.