Mediation for Marital Separation – Is it the Right Choice

Divorce in Ontario - Mediation
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Divorce in Ontario - Mediation

Mediation for Separation Issues

In Mediation for Separation, a neutral mediator and a separating couple meet. Together they discuss the couple’s interests, concerns, desires and feelings. They explore important issues such as child arrangements, support and property. As an example, during a mediation, the parties may meet once a week for about two hours. Over the course of 4 to 8 weeks, they’ll discuss options and find acceptable solutions to their issues.

Is Mediation for Separation effective?

A family mediator is a future-focused, problem solver. Family mediators are not interested in assigning blame. Mediation is a creative process that allows you and your spouse to work with a neutral third party. The goal is to find the path to an amicable divorce for you and your family. Normally, lawyers don’t attend the mediation sessions. However, you can review the Separation Agreement with a lawyer before signing it.

Usually, this is the best way to cut the cost and pain of divorce. Mediation for separation is often very effective. Issues like child custody and parenting time are best solved by separating parents. Why let a third party like a judge who has never met you make these very impactful decisions?

Save cost, ease stress, cut time and safeguard your children

Mediation creates soft landings for your family. It’s far quicker and more affordable than the legal system.

Together, you and your spouse craft your own outcomes. There’s no hurried judge imposing a solution after a 20-minute court appearance. A mediated settlement is more durable. This is because the separating couple craft the agreement; it’s not imposed by the court.

Mediation of Separation is less adversarial

Mediation for Separation issues leads to flexible decision making and soft landings. You just don’t get that in family law court. Mediation is a closed, private and confidential process. This may be appealing given the personal financial and emotional issues involved. You’re also more likely to reconcile your parenting relationship in mediation. This is very important if you have children.

As family mediators, we often meet couples that started off the process seeking an amicable divorce. Unfortunately, they somehow ended up embroiled in lawyer-negotiated Separation Agreements. Some even find themselves heading to court. This isn’t uncommon.

There seem to be some common threads with these couples. The most common is that they were unaware of the options available when they started out. As a result, they assumed lawyers were the only option.

More often than not we hear that, as a result of this:

  • Costs have ballooned
  • The level of conflict has escalated
  • The focus is no longer on negotiating core interests, but haggling over positions
  • Financial resources are being maxed out
  • They’re emotionally exhausted
  • Many have taken on unnecessary debt to finance the litigation

What’s the second most common thread? They had the good sense to step back from the ligation and look for alternatives.

More about Mediation for Separation

Mediation for Marital Separation

Mediator

Present

Financial Information

All financial information is voluntarily disclosed.

Marital Mediation

The Mediation Process

  • Non-Adversarial
  • Start with a phone call to provide background information about your marriage, family and a brief rundown of the issues.
  • Attend the first meeting and sign an agreement.
  • Series of three-way sessions between the mediator and the client couple.

Which Process is Right for You?

  • Both parties must agree to participate.
  • There is no real fear of domestic violence.
  • You can speak for yourself and listen to views of your spouse.
  • You and your spouse have similar expectations.
  • You don’t want to entrust decisions regarding your children or property to a judge.

Types of Cases

  • Any matter in which the parties are willing to listen to each side (directly or through a mediator).
  • Mutually agree to negotiate in good faith.

Circumstances in which one of the parties are not willing to cooperate, or compromise on his/her wants or needs. This may not work for you. If there is a significant power imbalance between the couple, such as a spouse at a substantial educational or psychological disadvantage, may not be appropriate.

Confidentiality

Private and confidential: All documents prepared for the collaborative negotiations, and all matters discussed in the sessions (including one on one) are all confidential. Only the final agreement, if submitted to the court, is a public document.

How long does it take to get a divorce through mediation

60-120 days. Quickest form of alternative dispute resolution.
*Sometimes only takes a few hours*

How much does marital mediation cost

Lowest cost; Least expensive;

  • Hourly fees for sessions.
  • Flat fees for many services and agreements.
  • If valuation experts are required, the couple often agrees to use neutral experts.

Decision Maker

You and the other party.

Outcome

Mediator prepares a Memorandum of understanding or Settlement Agreement, which, when signed, becomes a binding agreement, enforceable by a court.

Where to find a Separation and Divorce Mediator & other Neutral Professionals

If you feel my Soft Landing Divorce Settlement Method is not a good fit for you or my location is not convenient (and Virtual or Remote Location Mediation is not an option.) It is still vital that you mediate your separation and divorce.  You can find a Mediator listed at following organizations:

Other Professionals working as Neutrals

The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts

NEXT: Soft Landing Settlement Method

Here is a Roadmap to your Soft Landing. The final part of this article looks at The Soft Landing Settlement Method for your separation settlement option.  Tap the NEXT button below to continue.

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About the Author:
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst & Family Mediator at
647.360.3200
Next Step - Schedule a Get Acquainted Call

I help smart and successful couples, create separation agreements with clarity and soft landings for secure futures, in 4 meetings or less without all the lawyer created overwhelming conflicts, confusion and costs. You can work with me by video conference or with a DTSW associate at any of our 6 DTSW Greater Toronto mediation centers, including | Aurora | Barrie | North York | Vaughan | Mississauga | Scarborough.

Have a few questions -  Tap here to Schedule a Get Acquainted Call